01
Set once
Protect what cannot move.
Choose a private support rule that works for a salary, seasonal income or changing business income.
A practical guide for the person everyone calls
Before you answer the next family money request, check your own life too.
Make a private support plan, use a one-minute request check and choose from 15 clear scripts, so you can keep helping without putting your own life on hold.
Get both editions for ₦7,500 / $9. Secure checkout on Selar.
Private planOne-minute check15 response scriptsA5 + phone editions
01 / The Family Support Plan
One calm decision before the next pressured one.
Set the plan. Use it when they ask. Review it after.
02
Use live
Create time before you decide.
Hold. Ask for the amount, purpose and deadline. Notice the pattern. Choose the form. Reply clearly.
03
Review later
Change the plan outside the pressure.
Record what happened, rebuild any buffer you used and adjust the rule before another urgent call.
02 / See how it works
Open the guide.
Use the page in front of you.
This is the finished guide, not a mock-up. Save the hold sentence, check the request and your own plan, then choose what you can honestly do.
- 01Hold before answering
- 02Check the request and your plan
- 03Choose the form of help
- 04Say it clearly, then review
03 / The hidden cost
Finding the money does not always mean you can afford the decision.
School feesTreatmentRentFuneral contributionBusiness help
You can find money by breaking savings, moving business money, borrowing or hiding a payment from your partner. The guide helps you see the whole cost before you promise.
When it feels urgent, use the Hold Script Card.
When the amount is vague, ask the Four Fit Questions.
When yes and no both feel wrong, choose from six forms of help.
04 / A believable first win
Finish your first plan in about 30 minutes.
Write one private support rule, one emergency exception, two hold messages and a review date. When the next request arrives, the live check takes about one minute after you have the facts.
“ The guide cannot control how another person responds. It can help you stop beginning from panic.
05 / Words for the hard moment
You do not have to find the perfect words under pressure.
“Let me look at things properly and come back to you tomorrow evening.”
“I cannot cover the full amount. I can send ₦30,000 on Friday. You will need another plan for the balance.”
“I understand that the balance is still a problem. The amount I can provide has not changed.”
06 / Inside the guide
Not another lecture about “boundaries.”
A usable field guide for the call, message or conversation that cannot wait for perfect words.
Complete guide
72 A5 pages
103 phone screens
72 A5 pages
103 phone screens
- 01Private Family Support PlanProtect the future before the request arrives.
- 02Cannot-Move MapKnow what this decision must not take from.
- 03Four Fit QuestionsAmount, purpose, deadline and recurrence.
- 04Request SorterSeparate an emergency from a pattern.
- 05Six Forms of HelpDirect, partial, non-cash, later or decline.
- 06Fifteen Response ScriptsClear language for the first ask and what comes after.
- 07Five Worked Decisions + Two VariantsTreatment, school, funeral, recurring support, partner decisions, rent and ceremony.
- 0830-day ReviewRebuild the buffer and change the plan calmly.
07 / One system, clear contexts
For the one everyone calls, at home or abroad.
Frequent. Close. Hard to step away from.
Smaller but persistent requests can move the whole month before you notice the pattern.
The exchange rate is visible. Your life abroad is not.
Larger episodic requests can carry foreign-currency assumptions, guilt at a distance and hidden living costs.
The pressure changes shape. The decision system is shared. The examples are never blended.
08 / Built from listening
The guide starts with what people are already carrying quietly.
Its structure comes from 64 coded pain and behaviour signals across 34 public sources, then turns those patterns into decisions, worksheets and words you can use.
No invented testimonials. No promise of guaranteed peace. No advice to abandon your family.
09 / Check the fit
Know what this guide can do before you buy.
No fake promise of a conflict-free family. No hidden claim that one script will make everyone agree.
- family money requests keep arriving;
- you still want to help;
- the cost reaches your bills, savings, work or relationship;
- you want a repeatable plan and clear words.
- a plan for cutting off your family;
- personal financial, legal, medical or therapy advice;
- a guarantee that relatives will accept your answer;
- a promise of wealth or a life without conflict.
10 / Questions before you decide
Clear answers.
No fine-print surprise.
This is general educational decision support, not personalised financial, legal, debt, medical, mental-health or relationship advice.
Does the book tell me to stop helping my family?
No. It helps you decide what kind of help is possible without pretending every request is simple or every answer must be no.
Is this only for Africans abroad?
No. The guide is for people at home and abroad. The decision system is shared, while local and diaspora examples are clearly labelled.
Will it work if my income changes every month?
Yes. The private plan includes rules that can work with salary, seasonal income or changing business income.
What if the request is a real emergency?
Urgency changes the length of the pause, not the need to understand the amount, purpose and safest next action. Immediate danger still requires emergency or qualified professional help.
Does the guide include messages I can use?
Yes. It includes 15 warm, direct starting scripts for holding, asking, helping, declining and responding when your first answer is not accepted.
What format will I receive?
The complete product includes a 72-page A5 reading PDF and a 103-screen phone PDF with larger type and reflowed worksheets.
Make the plan before the message arrives
The next request should meet a plan you already started.
Build your private Family Support Plan and save the words you may need next.
Get both editions for ₦7,500 / $9. Secure checkout on Selar.